1. D: what does "untouched" mean? (referring to the song "untouched" by the veronicas)
T: uhh let me demonstrate. come here D. i use my index finger to touch her shoulder. you're now touched, but i'm untouched. get it?
2. D: what is a ho mommy and why shouldn't i trust a ho? (referring to that song, the title escapes me, where the singer says, "don't trust a ho, never trust a ho...shush girl, shut your lips, do the hellen keller and talk with your hips. yeah. real classy. totally awesome lyrics. ha!)
T: a hoe is a dangerous gardening tool D. one should be very careful when using a hoe. *innocent look. gulp. is she going to buy this???"*
D: scrunches face, raises her eyebrows, and gives me a confused look that tells me she'll accept that answer...for now anyways. phew.
3. D: when are you going to download boom boom pow for me?
T: soon D. soon.
4. D: why do girls have boobs and boys don't?
T: uhhh, good question, ask your dad, he's the doctor.
5. D: daddy, did you have a girlfriend before mommy? what did you do with her? (man i wish i was there for alex's response to the latter question. )
i know i am largely to blame. but if you were forced to listen to the itsy shitsy spider, old fucking mcdonald had a farm, mary had an ugly ass lamb, and row row row your damn boat for the past 5 years of your life, you'd resort to 99.5 too. i promise. but my kid is too damn smart for her own good. she is a beast at picking up song lyrics. and she is not just singing for the sake of singing. girlfriend is paying attention to the lyrics, dissecting them, analyzing them, and writing op ed pieces and shit.
looks like i'm going to have to whip out the We Sing CDs again and put a jolly old smile on my face and sing along to hush little baby (while simultaneously daydreaming about daddy buying ME a diamond ring.)
good bye rihanna, black eyed peas, madonna, and miley (kidding! ok fine. i'll admit that 7 things i hate about you song is kinda catchy. shame on me.) i'll reevaluate in a few years.
hmmm...i don't know if this blog post title with my daughter's picture below is such a hot idea.
ReplyDeletei got yelled at for playing "my dick" in the car with d in the back bumping her feet against the front passenger seat :)
ReplyDeleteI am crying!!! You are too funny!! I would have explained it the same way though!!!
ReplyDeletebrilliant post.
ReplyDelete-shadi
LOL! is it wrong that marley asked "why the two girls were kissing" in reference to that "i kissed a girl...and i liked it" song? my answer...they were giving each other kisses on the cheek just like we do!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! We only listen to 99.5 in the car too. J's current fave is "Fire Burning."
ReplyDelete-Beth
That is too funny! I think I'll have to come to you for tips in a few years . . . .
ReplyDeleteI AM DYINGGGGGGGG! you are the most amazing writer! love youuu.
ReplyDeleteneda: i've never heard of "my dick" but i'm very intrigued.
ReplyDeletecherie: i think you're my number #1 fan and i love it. thank you!!
shadi: please comment more often. you do wonders for my ego! ;)
rosana: *shaking head* that katy perry. she's going to turn our girls into lesbians. maybe that's a good thing. :) with her hot and cold song, i always try to lower the volume at the "you PMS like a bitch i would know" part, but i have failed many times.
beth: so nice to know we're not the only loyal listeners. we love fire burning too.
neema: i miss you guys. when's the next visit?
negar: you are my everything.
that completes my acceptance speech. :)
at this rate you will have to send her to an all girls boarding school
ReplyDeleteJust start listening to German pop music or something. It's the same crappy riffs, but she'll never know what they're singing about!
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