Our new arrivals: baby and lice

ok. so a lot has happened since my last post. first and foremost, i had a baby. our third (and final) girl who will likely give us hell during her teenage years, but will be cute and cuddly until at least age 4. :) she came out fast and furious. in fact, she scowls a lot - just like her dad. :) she has hair on her ears, alex's feet and my nose (hallelujah!). despite my enormous belly and all the 'are you having twins' comments from strangers and family alike, she was my smallest child, weighing in at 7 pounds, 2 ounces.

here she is just a fews old:

i know it has been months since my last post. i really do want to be better about blogging more frequently. i have several topics in mind. some of you have even approached me and asked what da dilly yo? why aren't you blogging? and it truly warms my heart that you care about what goes on in my not-so-glamorous life. speaking of not so glamorous - i have been through hell and back again. let me explain. in late september, i took the girls to get their flu shots at our pediatrician's office. A is sitting on my lap getting the shot and in between her screams and cries, i notice these little white dandruffy-like things around her ears and casually point them out to her doctor. the dr. takes a look and informs me that my kid has lice. she explains what needs to happen: buy NIX lice shampoo, wash all the linens, bag up the stuffed animals, and vacuum. i waddle home and ask my husband to go to cvs and buy NIX, while i wash, vacuum, and clean like mad. of course alex returns with the generic cvs lice brand shampoo (why can't men follow simple instructions and why must they try to save a buck when it comes to the health of their child and their wife's sanity?!). i'm 9 months pregnant, so alex treats A's hair and we throw D's hair in the mix as a precaution.

i do my best to comb the nits out, but i'm not going to lie - it's difficult with her nappy, curly hair. alex suggests we shave her head the way his mom shaved his when he was 5 with lice. i proceed to ignore him. he repeats it again a little louder (in case i didn't hear the first time) and adds, "the only way we are truly going to get rid of this is if we shave her head" (why do men not understand that girls care about their hair - that if you go and shave your 4 year old's locks - who you have repeatedly told, your hair will grow faster and prettier if you drink milk - will undoubtedly need years of therapy after a traumatic butchering.) we are not shaving my child's hair i tell him, icily - especially after you purchased the cheap lice shampoo.

being the honest person that i am, i promptly tell her school about the lice and that A has been properly treated, and ask that they please clean their cots because there is no other logical explanation about where the lice originated. 7 days pass and we get the dreaded, embarrassing phone call from school. come pick up your child, she has lice. we look through her hair and sure enough there are more nits and the whole lot of us are scratching our heads like maniacs. we are paranoid. we are delirious. i check alex's head. he checks my head. is that dry scalp or lice, dammit?? my mom calls complaining about her itchy head. we do another lice treatment and wash everything again. the grandparents do the same. i throw away her bag of stuffed animals and pray that she doesn't notice or ask for them ever again.

for a few days, everything seems ok. things starts to return to normal until A pulls out this gross, leggy, ant-like thing from her hair and says, "mom, look at this bug that i pulled out of my hair." *gulp* i want to scream. i am frantic and am trying to play it cool to not upset her. i ask her to sit on my lap so i can see if there are any more insects and sure enough - i see about 10 live lice crawling around my child's head. i had never seen these vermin before. here is a pic:

so there you have it. we repeat the entire process AGAIN and AGAIN. i am frustrated, annoyed, and even more paranoid. think: an awful version of the movie ground hog day. my life was in a frenzy for 2 months: lice treatments, vacuuming, washing, pulling out nits. (try to get a kid to sit still for 3 hours while you go through her hair, pulling out nits - one by one - shoot me now.)

i take her to the hair cuttery and we cut off 5 inches of her beautiful hair - which in curly hair translates to 10 inches. i worry about her reaction. you cannot chop off a child's hair without some kind of incentive. i bribe her with a candy bar (or two) and hope she doesn't cry because i will surely cry if i see tears. i wait with bated breath. she takes the cut like a champ and her new short do looks, dare i say, cuter than before. phew.

we repeat the treatment process so many more times that i get fed up. i am doing everything right, why does this keep coming back?! i went into angry-protective-mommy mode. i wrote a terse-i'm-paying-$1400/mo in tution-ya'll better-do-something-letter-to the school and ask that she no longer "rest" on their mats. i typed up the letter as if alex had written it and add comma, MD after his name for effect. the printer was having issues, so i asked him to print the letter, while i get the kids in the car to drive them to school. he gives me the letter and has made a significant change. he signs the letter with my name saying he doesn't want to be the bad guy. (why do men care so much about their image when it comes to their child's health?!) i explain if they think he wrote it, the MD adds more legitimacy and they are more likely to respect our request. in the letter, i had asked them to have her read quietly in the corner or engage in some other quiet activity while the other parasite-infested kids nap, bc i will not have my child endure this time-consuming, gut-wrenching process on a weekly basis. i myself cannot keep doing this. finally, the school takes me seriously and gets their shit together. they conduct head checks, thoroughly clean their mats, bag up the coats and backpacks, and send stern letters to the other families.

i cringe when i see A scratching her head and quickly get her off my bed when she climbs in to snuggle (i can't tell you how awful i feel about this). story time has moved from her bed to the leather couch...it sucks, but i will not be at ease until the creatures are 100% gone...

p.s. i have yet to receive a push present. 9 weeks and counting. santa better be very good to me this year.

A's before/after pics:

how ya like me now?