The Camera Loves My Kid

about 2 weeks ago, i'm looking frantically for our "nice" camera and can't find it anywhere. i don't ask alex just yet, because he rarely uses the camera and prefers to take pictures with his iphone. i wanted to avoid a lecture on my ability to lose things at all costs. (are you noticing a trend here? my husband was probably a professor in another life.) i continued my desperate search and began to panic. i finally decided to ask alex ever so nonchalantly, "hey, have you seen the canon?" i see it in his diverted eyes. i can read his mind. he's thinking: i'll see your nonchalance and raise you apathy. "oh yeah, i sold it last night." now picture me in slow motion with fangs and steam coming out of my ears: "you WHAAAAT? what do you mean? you sold it over night?? without telling me or asking me?" i think he realized the error of his ways and alleviated the imminent hysteria by assuring me he'd buy me a better camera soon. i leave for florida next week, so i told him soon needed to be soon. fa real fa real. growing up, my dad had a knack for shutting me up with the phrase: "halla bebineem chee meeshe." literal translation: "let's see what happens." intended translation: "i want you to stop nagging me. the answer is no, but i won't outright say it, for fear you'll nag me some more." he did his research. i did mine (thanks, imants!). i decided to buy the Olympus EP-L1. never have i read the owner's manual to anything and i've started reading the one for my camera. i've always had an appreciation and love for photography, but never pursued it. i've been dabbling with the camera for the past 2 days and am happy with the purchase.

two funny anecdotes i thought i'd share:

1. do not take a child under 8 to see the new harry potter movie. the following is a conversation between D and me that has taken place for the past 2 nights before bedtime:

D: "Mom, do robbers steal kids or just house stuff?"

T: "er, um...just house stuff."

D: "how do you know?"

T: "i know everything."

2. i can sleep easy now knowing that A may not bring me a "My child is an Honor Roll Student at ____" bumper sticker from school. girlfriend is a bonafide artist. she sees things and describes scenes in a way that i know i certainly did not at three years of age. for example: yesterday, she's on the toilet and is staring at the bathroom mat in front of her feet. D had just showered and A notices a wet imprint on the mat and proclaims, "Mom, come here and look at this duck in our bathroom." i walk over - slightly baffled, but then i remembered mohsenis make profound revelations in the bathroom. it truly looked like it was in the shape of a duck. have you ever looked up at the sky and noticed an animal, person, or object from the shape of the clouds? i used to do that...when i was 25. other artistic/poetic comments include: the leaves are dancing (leaves were blowing in the wind). that tree is crying (pointing to a weeping willow). we english teachers call that personification. :) and don't be freaked out by this comment, but she is very interested in the concept of death and recently asked about the whereabouts of my paternal grandmother. i explained she is no longer alive and she asks, "does she still have eyes, even though she is dead?" that's some deep, philosophical shit, no? she really surprises me sometimes.

sweet dreams.

Too Cool for School

this picture makes me smile

my genes in full force

the end is near, ya'll. i'm days away from being fully licensed to teach language arts to the high schoolers of fairfax county! (what? you old farts didn't get the memo, either? they be callin English - language arts now.) it only took 16 weeks of my life, 174 gray hairs, and 453 "moooom, you're always on the computer" gripes from the kids! and now the hubs is on my case to get a job - ASAP. now, wait just a minute mister. 4 score and seven years ago (really 8), i've either been pregnant, working, or staying at home and raising two pretty cute, semi-well-behaved kids. i have yet to enjoy the freedom i was given 3 months ago when A enrolled in preschool. now that i'm done with this intensive teaching program and have written 50 papers (yep, that's right!), peer critiqued 160 papers and have read hundreds of pages, can i please get a minute to myself?? there is tennis to be played, half-marathons to be trained for (your eyes do not deceive you), weight to be lost, children to be spoiled, and holidays to be enjoyed.

and really? is there going to be a fabulous job opening right smack in the middle of the year for little ole me? i think not. and even if there is, i'm sure there will be others in the fall of 2011.

i just need some quality time with me, myself, and i. 6 hours a day to be exact. i need some peace and quiet and solitude to make up for the fact that i've been busting my balls for the past - oh soon to be 8 years of my life since i became pregnant and gave birth to our first and soon to be 7 year old daughter, miss d. just having written that i am a mom to a 7 year old still makes me freak out just a little. woah. how and when did my kid grow up so fast? girlfriend is already in a band and everything. she's the lead singer too. they have band practice every tuesday and wednesday at recess and on those mornings she asks that i pick a - and i quote, "sassy" outfit for her to wear.

anyway, where was i? so i'm trying to really savor the last months before i enter the work force, hand in time sheets and immerse myself in the world where girls wear ugg slippers to school and the boys all look like shaggy from scooby-doo (my astute observations from my one week of student teaching at a local high school).

i will now share with you one of the papers i wrote during this semester. my teacher liked it so much, that she sent it as an email to the rest of the students to read. it felt like 3rd grade all over again - my heyday as teacher's pet. we had to write a metaphor about what it felt like to develop a lesson plan for our future class.

Teaching Your Child How To Ride a Bike

One of our many responsibilities as a parent is to teach our child how to ride a bike. It can be a long, arduous learning process for some children, while others learn rather quickly. The various stages involved in teaching kids how to ride a bike are akin to the development of the culminating project for my poetry unit.

The student who enters my 9th grade English class has had her training wheels for quite some time. She has learned how to read and write or pedal and steer, without having to worry about keeping the bike upright. As I teach her about the similes, metaphors, rhythm and rhyme found in a poem, I am walking alongside her and asking her to think about the poem's meaning or balancing on the wheels of the bike alone.

Once she has demonstrated successful pedaling and steering or poetry analysis and identification of different poetic forms and literary devices, I can gradually raise the training wheels higher off the ground so that the bike is a little more unstable. As my student gains confidence on the less balanced bike, eventually she will be ready to have the stabilizers removed all together and will be able to complete a culminating project. When I see she is comfortable with the essential understandings and adept at answering the essential questions through formative assessments, I remove the training wheels from the bike.

I then hold the back of the seat of the bike and one handle-bar. I push and run along with the student, instructing her to keep pedaling and look straight forward. She begins writing her own poems or finding poems with a common theme. I take my hand off the seat when I feel the student is balancing on her own accord. I give some words of encouragement and constructive feedback as I review her outline and rough drafts and take my hand off the handle bar, allowing her to ride entirely by herself and complete the project. It is an exhilarating feeling to witness her ride the bike on her own and hand in her completed project. I feel a sense of pride that I have taught her a valuable life skill she can enjoy and use throughout her life. I feel a sense of pride that I have made a small difference as I did when I taught my six year old how to ride a bike.

***

i will admit that i told a little white lie in the last sentence: i haven't exactly taught D how to ride a bike just yet. i mean, come on. you gotta remember- i have a law degree too. it's not like i can just forget my roots. there's got to be some BS in there somewhere. :)

My Life is Not a Science, But the Shit is an Experiment

(that's D and A. believe it or not, they're still 6 and 3.

although at times it feels like they're teenage gang members.)

it's been a while. i'm back by popular demand (well 3 loyal followers to be exact have asked for a blog update. i'm looking at you shar, imants, and ali). how's everybody doing tonight? the girls and i just returned from the running store and costco. apparently, i need to add personal assistant to my glorious resume. the hubs asked if i could go on a wild goose hunt for him and buy him new running shoes. you see he is running a marathon this sunday. in california. the marine corps was all booked, so we did the next best thing. booked tickets to san francisco, so he could partake in the joy of running 26 miles for god knows what reason. (who in their right mind feels the need to run 26 miles? i swear, i am not going to spend my days wheeling him around or waiting for him to catch up to me with his walker if he develops bad knees, bad ankles, achey joints, what have you...i'm going to be too busy playing hokm, getting my weekly peer-e-zany hair blowout, and spoiling my grandkids.)

did i mention he signed my kids up for some races too? A will be running 10 yards. and D will run .25 miles. i can just see it now - my girls are going to turn into running addicts like their daddy and i'll be the lone-slacker-fatty in a family of athletic runners. great. i will say this, i ran (for the most part) 5 miles yesterday and i felt pretty good about myself. it made me feel like i could eat crap for the rest of the day, guilt-free. but on a serious note, i'm actually considering running a half marathon next year. just to say - yeah, i did that. i'm a badass. i asked the hubs if he'd get me a snazzy gift if i ever ran a half marathon and he said he would. and don't you shake your head brother in law of mine. that would be quite the feat (i mean think about - taraneh running. for 13.1 miles. hello??) and quite worthy of a handsome reward. i've had my eye on a nikon d300s (+ several awesome lenses) for ever.

after the cali vacay, i will be teaching 30 hours in a local high school. i will most likely teach 9th grade honors and regular and a 12th grade AP Literature class. i'm nervous, anxious, and scared shitless. i subbed the other day for a first grade class and at the end of the day, the kids asked, "were we awesome?" and i lied and replied, "yeah, you guys were awesome!" they responded, "but, you yelled at us the entire time, we couldn't have been awesome." busted. what can i say? there were 4 kids in that class that were so unfocused, disruptive, and annoying. i gotta work on my classroom management skills. i've researched, read about, and written countless papers on it, but putting into practice is a whole other story.

i can't believe it's almost november. where does the time go? i cannot believe i will turn 25 this summer. haha. i have got to make sure that i exercise more and use under-eye cream daily. to this end, i went to lululemon and bought myself some cute exercise clothes. i was tired of wearing the same ratty workout clothes from 1998. i have this theory, that if i look and feel cute exercising, i will do it more. (please don't judge me aforementioned brother-in-law) so far, i've worked out 8 of the 11 days. not too shabby.

that is all for now my loves. i will do my very best to update more often, but these teaching classes are killing me softly. (i have to read 100 pages a week, write 3 papers a week, and peer critique 10 papers a week for 16 weeks. 8 down. 8 more to go.) it warms my heart that you still come back and check up on this little blog.

The Camel Clutch - and I Don't Mean a Purse

it was 2 am in the morning and i couldn't sleep. i had watched 6 episodes of entourage and was wide awake. (p.s. love sloan and eric) i was at my parents' house in my old bedroom and decided to peruse through the contents of my nightstand. i found some interesting stuff. they included: what appeared to be a love letter to my husband from a latvian girl. it was from 1998, so it passed the stank test, since i met my husband in 1999. i would like to get it translated though (inga - i'm looking at you). i swear i have no clue how it got in my nightstand. it was the first time i had ever seen it. for real. it was in a ziplock bag alone with a bunch of pics from my husband's glory days at latvian camp. i found some old birthday cards and letters from friends. one particular birthday card from 10 years ago made me tear up. we are currently "separated" and i don't mean distance-wise. i also came across a book, entitled, "a book about me," that i had filled out when i was younger. this entry cracked me up:

the strongest person i know is ___________.

rather than fill in my mom or dad, i took the sentence very literally and wrote Hulk Hogan. yes folks, i used to be a die hard fan of the WWF. randy macho man savage (let's not forget the lovely elizabeth), jake the snake roberts, and the iron sheik were my heros of the day. how i got into this and how my parents allowed me to watch this nonsense and prohibited the show married with children is beyond me. i also found a packet of persian names that i had printed out while pregnant with A. it reignited the third child itch, but only for a second.

i am about to start a new chapter in my life. classes start for my quest to become a high school english teacher. i have a pile of homework due on the first day of class and asked myself - "taraneh, what have you gotten yourself into? - but only for a second.

because i know full well why i'm doing this. i want to go back to work. i want to interact with people! i want to edit papers, read books, and inspire kids - rather than jail them. i loved being in the courtroom and cross-examining witnesses. i loved the people i worked with, but i didn't love having to send a kid away to jail because he never had anyone to look up to, or be inspired by - or have anyone that believe in him for that matter. i don't want to get all sappy here. but it's true. teaching will be much more rewarding than what i was doing before.

my little girls are growing up and it's time for mommy to shift some focus onto herself. this will be good for my sanity, good for my kids, and good for my marriage. i'm not gonna lie, it's going to be nice to spend my own money without any guilt. and getting dressed up in the mornings, missing my kids, and shifting some more responsibility to my husband. "honey, can you make dinner - i've got a stack of papers to grade...honey, can you put the kids to bed, i'm exhausted from work and have to work on tomorrow's lesson plans. thanks doll!" he'll probably frown, grunt, or sigh - but only for a second.

Dear Tooth Fairy:

my daughter means business. girlfriend lost a tooth. literally. and wants to get paid.

she had a loose tooth for weeks. and waited. and waited. and when it finally fell out during khale day (aka spend the day with your wonderful aunt), it went missing. so here is the letter she started to write today before she left for camp. it's hilarious. i hope you enjoy... see translation below. :)

translation: thank you for all the money (thus far). my tooth just fell out (on sunday). i am sorry i lost my tooth. i would really appreciate...to be continued.

p.s. i'm just happy she didn't flunk kindergarten. :)

I Get It Now

i thought i'd spruce things up a bit and change the layout. honestly, the pink was kinda getting to me. let me know if the new template gives you a headache.

a couple of years ago, when the iphone first came out, my husband proclaimed, "today is the best day of my life." i was offended, insulted, and unamused. you mean to tell me the best day of your life was not our wedding day? it wasn't january 6th when we had our first born? or june 26th? the birth of our second born?! but you see, my husband is an apple fanatic. not a lot of families own an apple desktop, mac book pro, 2 ipads, and the latest iphones. we do. he loves apple, the way i love movies. and i found myself proclaiming, "this is the best weekend of my life," more than once this past weekend. i went to the afi silverdocs documentary film festival and saw movie after movie after movie. i waited in standby lines outside with the 95 degree sun pounding on me and barely noticed. i saw 5 films on saturday and 3 on sunday. i would have seen more on sunday, but my dad flew back from iran and it would have been utterly rude if i wasn't there to welcome him home. (believe me, i thought about it. but with one grandparent out of the country, i wasn't going to risk getting on the bad side of one of my saviors for the summer.)

so yeah - i was in heaven. i was alone for the most part and really don't feel like a loser going to a movie by myself. i always manage to get a fantastic seat right in the middle. my sister came to two movies with me and took my kids swimming on sunday to allow me another festival day. bless her heart. these films were extraordinary. the directors were also there for Q and A sessions after each movie, which was a real treat. an added bonus was the live presence of some of the subjects of these films.

my favorite films include:

budrus = a film about the power of a palestinian village to peaceably fight, in an unarmed movement, when it is threatened with destruction by Israel's separation barrier. Ayed Murrar, a family-man turned activist in the film, came onto the stage after the film ended and i was so caught off guard and overwhelmed by his presence, that my eyes started welling with tears.

monica and david = an intimate look into the first year of marriage of two people in love...who have down syndrome.

circo = a glimpse into the life and struggles of a family involved in a traveling circus in rural mexico.

the movies are so riveting and poignant. they show the every day struggles of people in the world and make you feel like a chump for thinking *you've* got problems. movies are like an escape for me - my refuge for a short while. i can't wait to go back next year!

Aloha!

amazing views...look at the water!

deep thoughts by taraneh

the 2nd hike my body could not go on

one of the best burgers i've ever had

highlights from a much needed vacation with the hubby, sans kids:

but first - i'd like to thank my mom, in-laws, sister, mary-ann, zan amu and elham for making this trip possible. i am deeply indebted and incredibly lucky to be blessed with the love and support of the above-mentioned people who not only took care of my kids but as a result took care of me, my well-being, and sanity.

kauai is a magical place...i feel refreshed, rejuvenated, and relaxed. hello tan lines. i needed this trip. i needed to be alone with my husband. i needed to eat in peace. i needed to sleep in peace, without changing the soiled bed sheets of my 2 year old night after night. i needed to go to bed on my time and on my terms without having to read the 6 year old 849 books before bed. i needed to just lay on a beach or by the pool and read to my heart's content without worrying about kids drowning, kids peeing in the water, kids wanting a snack, kids taking a nap, kids getting bathed and dressed...you get the picture.

now to some of the highlights:

- did a grueling 12 mile hike up a mountain to see the most incredible views

- got to try lychee and sugar cane at the fabulous farmers' markets

- got 2 tennis lessons and i'm now i'm really hooked and want to get lessons here too

- stayed in the most amazing hotel - best i've been in so far - the grand hyatt in poipu

- saw jake the bachelor and vienna by the pool. apparently jennifer anniston, nicole kidman and george clooney (drool) were also on the island, but i didn't see them.

- read an amazing book - little bee

- watched seasons 1 and 2 of curb your enthusiasm

- back and forth discussions of having a 3rd. i don't know if it was the heat or what - but alex really wants to go for #3. he pulled the 'imagine life without mohsen card' and it's tempting. i know i'll have regrets in 5-10 years if we don't. but right now, today, i can't. i'm close to reaching personal goals with career and weight. and i really love sleep (and my boobs). on the trip, i kept looking for signs to help me decide. at the hotel, i saw this young, good-looking couple with 2 cute daughters and i said to myself - that's my sign - this content, family of 4...and 10 seconds later this little boy comes out of nowhere and screams, "mommy! daddy! can we go swimming? pleeeeassse!" and i proceeded to mutter "oh, shit!" under my breath. did i mention i have until friday to decide. alex is funny. :)

the summer is upon us...and it's going to be a busy one. 3 weddings, relatives from iran, mom is going to iran, summer camps, birthdays, beach vacation with the kids, and classes start for me mid-august. i'm ready.