Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

I guess I’m not the kind of mom I thought I’d be:

I thought I would:

Have 5 kids

Raise perfect kids

Never raise my voice

Never lose my temper

Never leave a diaper on too long

Never turn on PBS Kids so I can check my email

Set up weekly play-dates

Be gung-ho about arts & crafts

Prepare nutritious home cooked meals every night

Have a spotless home, with color-coordinated bins for my kids’ toys

Look fit, skinny, and stylish with no sleep

Have loads of energy

Maintain composure and not appear desperate when husband comes home

Go back to work after spending a year or two with kids

Enjoy family vacations

Be the kind of mom my mom wants me to be

Be the kind of mom my mom was to me

Throw fabulous dinner parties

Never throw away my kids’ drawings

Never rush through bedtime stories

Update baby/scrap books

Never be so happy for nap time or bedtime

The reality is…that I’m exhausted. And sometimes I lose it. I mean really lose it. The frozen foods aisle of Trader Joes is my savior. My husband and I love each other too much to have a 3^rd kid. Dina is moody and whines more than my soon-to-be-2-year-old. Anais still doesn’t know her ABCs and 123s and loves to announce her daily farts (Ana gooz). I cannot get rid of 10 pounds of baby weight (which is sitting pretty in my mid-section). I would rather go on a vacation with my husband or girlfriends. I can’t wipe the huge grin off my face when my kids are tucked away in bed. In fact, I'll admit it - at times, it can be the highlight of my day. I often look like I belong in a zoo when my husband comes home from a 12 hour shift and I practically throw the kids at him when he walks through the door (unless I’ve put them to bed at 7pm).

I think it's time I let go of the guilt.

Like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

my daughter dina had surgery on friday. watch the video and you'll see why. it actually sounds 10 times worse when you hear it live and in person. especially when you're tossing and turning in the bedroom next door and using the pillow to cover your ears to no avail. (note to self: next time you buy a house, make sure the master bedroom is on another level from kids' bedrooms.) as i was saying, dina had her tonsils and adenoids taken out on friday. and no it wasn't so we could get a better night's sleep. she has sleep apnea and trouble breathing at night. when she wakes up in the morning, she feels like she's had a horrible night's sleep. we're driving home from the hospital, and dina falls asleep. the snoring begins. i was a little surprised. but alex assured me it's because her throat is very swollen.

so i took care of dina by myself on friday and sunday. i waited on her hand and foot. i felt like i was wearing a popsicle tool-belt. and what thanks do i get? a big bouquet of whining. i know my kid just had surgery, but the whining is killing me. there is i don't want to take medicine whining. there is i am in pain whining. i want to watch tv whining. i'm hungry whining. i don't want to take a bath whining. i don't want to share with my sister whining. i want ice-cream whining (i must admit, i can relate to this one) i don't want to eat what is on my plate whining. i don't want to leave the park whining. and the list continues.

is it normal for 5 and 1/2 year olds to whine? what is the cure? i've tried ignoring it. i don't cave in. (insert scarlett o'hara's voice here) as god is my witness, i will not be manipulated by my 5 year old. i've told her countless times to ask for something in a "normal" voice. i thought we were way past this stage. when will it end?? if she's still whining in her teens, i'm assessing a 'whine fine' and treating myself to a massage with all the money i collect. my kid is not a very pleasant person when she is sick. (her poor future husband) i think she is secretly enjoying the attention. she is a drama-queen and what did i go off and do? i signed her up for acting camp. *shaking head* there you have it. in case you were wondering...my #1 pet peeve is whining.

addressing my mother: *stomping feet* i reaaaally reaaaally hate it mommy. and i'm so tiiiiiired. HELP!

Ode to Ice-Cream

A compilation of photos that illustrates the concept of "like mother, like daughter..."

in this last photo - dina asks for a moment of silence...to honor the greatness that is ice-cream. amen.